Alright lads, I need some advice...

[Mr. Pink]

Ok, here we go, get comfy cuz this is kinda involved. I'll try and keep it to the essentials.

Basically, i have a friend that I've been totally and completely smitten with since the day i met her. now she dated my roomate twice, which is kinda a story in itself. first time, he knew exactly how i felt about her, but still broke up with his gf to go after her. She didnt know how i felt. second time, they both knew, and we made out one night, with her making the first move. between second time and the last situation, she spent the night over her while he was out of town(nothing happened). he gets his orders to leave for basic, and somehow ropes her into "waiting for him so he can prove himself to her and prove that he's changed." well, he's done the same with another ex at the same time, and winds up with her instead. she found out and now hates him, with me not far behind. I'm in shock that he could be such a callous cockjockey.

we've been talking alot lately and have hung out a few times in the past couple weeks. now i've moved on from my previous all-or-nothing mindset, that i had to be her bf or be nothing at all, to being ok with being her friend. now my feelings have changed none whatsoever. now i've tried really hard to not bring up any kind of relationship talk involving us, but while talking to me about other stuff, she kinda directed it that way today. i'm not really sure what to do, i'm kinda right back where i was before with it being pretty obvious that she's interested in me, but she's holding back. my question is, given the change in situation, ie. dp being in arizona, her hating him, etc, what do i do? its not in my nature to give up as long as i feel somethings worth it in the end, and this damn sure is.

Do i try again and risk pushing too far or just let it die and watch someone else walk off with her sooner or later? my feelings arent going to change, and no girl has ever in my life made me feel like she does. i'd rather walk around the market in charleston just holding her hand than fuck a busload of skanks. i'm so conflicted right now....

Edit-this is just the bare bones framework of the story, the whole thing would take easily 4 times this space.

[Phistar]

honestly, jay, this is just me personally...

if you two both truely enjoy each other's company then why not go for it?

the connection is there... you both can talk about anything & do whatever together and still have fun, isn't that what you both want?

if you both feel that in the end it was well worth it then go for it...

if she truely cares about you and no one else, then she'll show it to you...

looks like you "love" her bro... follow your heart... that's the best advice i can give you bro

sorry my advice sounds really stupid &i couldn't give you a direct answer

it's just that this is a very personal matter and only ONE OPINION matters

[Jerome]

roll the dice man and hope for the jackpot. seriously, we're too young to be holding anything back with regard to a female. go for broke: if you crap out, fuck it. you're no worse off than you were in the first place (seriously, you content just being her buddy?); if you two get together, then sweet, it's all good. chances are it won't work out anyway, but at least you gave it your best shot and have no regrets. life is way too short for regrets.

[Jerome]

Originally Posted by Phistar

looks like you "love" her bro... follow your heart... that's the best advice i can give you bro

you're such a homo phi.

[Phistar]

Originally Posted by Jerome

you're such a homo phi.

why do you gotta call me the "H" word?

that's not what you said last night when you were ringing the doorbell to my house at 4am

[Mr. Pink]

Originally Posted by Jerome

roll the dice man and hope for the jackpot. seriously, we're too young to be holding anything back with regard to a female. go for broke: if you crap out, fuck it. you're no worse off than you were in the first place (seriously, you content just being her buddy?); if you two get together, then sweet, it's all good. chances are it won't work out anyway, but at least you gave it your best shot and have no regrets. life is way too short for regrets.

see, therein lies the rub, i'm by no means happy about being her friend, but the past couple weeks having her around have been so, so, so much better than the months where we were hardly talking at all. I guess i just have to decide if its worth the risk of losing her completely.

i dunno, thanks for the opinions guys, i guess we'll see what happens. i really do wish i knew what was holding her back though, because i know the interest is there, i can see it. But she just holds back for some reason.

[Jerome]

Originally Posted by Phistar

why do you gotta call me the "H" word?

that's not what you said last night when you were ringing the doorbell to my house at 4am

it was to tell you to stop trying to steal my car !!!

[Phistar]

Originally Posted by Jerome

it was to tell you to stop trying to steal my car !!!

i'm sorry! it's just that i ran outta gas and i had to take your's since there was a full tank of gas taht comes with it

[Phistar]

Originally Posted by Mr. Pink

see, therein lies the rub, i'm by no means happy about being her friend, but the past couple weeks having her around have been so, so, so much better than the months where we were hardly talking at all. I guess i just have to decide if its worth the risk of losing her completely.

i dunno, thanks for the opinions guys, i guess we'll see what happens. i really do wish i knew what was holding her back though, because i know the interest is there, i can see it. But she just holds back for some reason.

maybe you want to ask her what it is? that way things get out in the open?

[Mr. Pink]

tried, she wont come off it. at one point she said that she didnt want to come between me and dp, but that doesnt play anymore. he's more than shown he doesnt give a damn about her, she hates him, and he's in az until sept/oct, with iraq looming after that.

there's something deeper, i just wish i knew what it was. but i'm not gonna push that issue, she gets really, really cranky when i have in the past.

[Jerome]

Originally Posted by Mr. Pink

see, therein lies the rub, i'm by no means happy about being her friend, but the past couple weeks having her around have been so, so, so much better than the months where we were hardly talking at all. I guess i just have to decide if its worth the risk of losing her completely.

i dunno, thanks for the opinions guys, i guess we'll see what happens. i really do wish i knew what was holding her back though, because i know the interest is there, i can see it. But she just holds back for some reason.

girls are like rusted nuts: you have to bust your ass to break them loose, and then you can decide whether it's still good or not.

seriously, if you're waiting for her to make any kind of move, or send you "a sign", then pull up a lawn chair because it's going to be a while. females never know wtf they want, and most of them never will. just get your sh*t together, find out if you really want to take that first step, and then just let her know what the deal is. girl's don't want some guy coming on to them with all that love sh*t... keep the conversation light and upbeat, and just let her know what's going on with you. if she's down, again fantastic. if not, no regrets right?

[Jerome]

Originally Posted by Mr. Pink

tried, she wont come off it. at one point she said that she didnt want to come between me and dp, but that doesnt play anymore. he's more than shown he doesnt give a damn about her, she hates him, and he's in az until sept/oct, with iraq looming after that.

there's something deeper, i just wish i knew what it was. but i'm not gonna push that issue, she gets really, really cranky when i have in the past.

yea, don't make the conversation too awkward by being all serious and sh*t. don't even bring up the other guy... just tell her "this is about us, not him", if she tries that bs. keep it about you guys, and let her know what a great time you guys always have together.